Leading Up to This

So you’re interested in watching someone’s life fall apart. Then introductions are in order.

The Truths of My Life:

  1. I tend to date men who forget to tell me they’re married.
  2. I’ve started to hate my job.
  3. I’ve always had a resistance to settling down.
  4. I’ve been fat since I can remember.
  5. I own way too much shit.
  6. I’m an American millennial. I was destined for heavy debt.

All of which have been manageable for the past few years and would continue to be so if I hadn’t

7.  Spent the last few years dreading my 25th birthday.

It was a birthday which recently came and went. Often 30 bothers people, or 40, or 50. But everyone gets one birthday to dread and 25 was mine.

So, how did I react to these TML?

  1. I cut the cheating husbands (bastards) off and one, goddamn it, charmed his way back in. More on that in a future post.
  2. I quit my job and tomorrow is my last day. I’ve quite possibly lost my mind.
  3. I have no idea what I’m doing or where I’ll end up. A ditch is probable.
  4. Still fat. In fact I gained more weight.
  5. Still have too much shit despite constant purges.
  6. To alleviate my debt I bought a car (because that makes sense and is in no way a direct issue with the above number two).
  7. I cried a lot and still do, but went and watched Bridget Jones which was probably the most appropriate thing I’ve ever done in my life.

My name is Dee and I’ve been in the process of a complete fucking meltdown for the past two months. I thought at the very least someone might get a laugh or, hell, even identify with it. I know I’d love to not feel so alone in my seeming inability to function as an adult.

Then I thought maybe this is an opportunity. Maybe it’s still possible to write myself into an underdog victory. I don’t have very good material to work with but, by god, I can have a decent life if I work for it. I can have a job I like. I can lose weight and maybe finally get around to having a skin regimen. I can manage debt and, longest shot of all, even see someone who finds me more worthy than side-chick status.

And so now those TML become Eventual Truths:

  1. I am capable of finding actual love if I decide it suits me.
  2. I will find a job that not only pays well, but that I genuinely enjoy.
  3. I will own a home, though I may not yet know where.
  4. I will lose weight, not only for vanity but for health. Mostly vanity, though.
  5. I will minimize my things, be they clothes or stress.
  6. I will manage my debt and be (largely) debt-free in ten years.
  7. The dreaded birthday has come and gone, so the rest will be better from here.

Since this was an introductory post and since it turned into a bunch of lists, here are five things about me.

  1. My MB type is ENFJ.
  2. I am a Libra.
  3. I’m currently in my senior year (Major: Creative Writing, Minor: History).
  4. I am the youngest of three girls. My oldest sister has three boys. My middle sister had three girls. There is a lot of pressure for three more boys.
  5. I just asked my mother for a random fact about me (she has no idea about this blog) and she instantly replied, “You’re stubborn.” So there’s that.

Looking forward to this journey,

Dee

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